Does wanting something make you selfish?

What does it feel like to say this to yourself? 

I get what I want. 

What comes to mind when you read this? 

Is it a loaded question? Meaning does it make you think in a certain way… “people who say that are selfish and will do anything to fulfill their desires, even at the expense of other people.” 

Are you hearing a “tone” or a connotation with it? 

Try saying softly and gently… “I get what I want.” 

Practice saying it with a smile. 

Add a lilt and skip… “Oh, I get what I want.” … almost musically. How delightful is that???? 🥰

Wanting something doesn’t make you selfish. The biggest-awesomest-most-fantastic things happened because someone wanted something. Edison was driven to figure out electricity. He wanted light and even built the first power plant. 

Steve Jobs wanted to create a computer that everyone could have access to — you’re probably holding one right now while reading this! 

Susan B. Anthony wanted equality for everyone in a time when she herself couldn’t vote; she died 14 years before the 19th amendment was passed. That didn’t stop her from taking action.  

Imagine if these individuals had held themselves back!!

If you cut off your desires, you are limiting yourself and how you’re contributing to your own life and those around you.

Allowing what you want to surface and be given credence is the single most important thing in taking action. So many people spend all their time thinking about what they don’t want or what is wrong. This is useful to an extent because at least we can name something. 

The trick is to then name and get specific with what is the opposite of what you don’t want. 

what do you want? 

If you can’t answer the question, then that means it’s time to stop and pause and let your mind wander and wonder. One of the byproducts of all of this technology is that our brains (and hearts) don’t have any down time. There are constant inputs. There has to be a space for things to grow. 

I love the quote from Gloria Steinem, “Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” Take 5 minutes and allow your mind to drift through all the possibilities. Try to visualize what it is that you want. Click here for some calming music with a 5 minute timer.

What are you wearing? What are you doing? What does it feel like? Can you get specific? Then give yourself a few minutes to write it down. Don’t leave it in your head. Allow it some space in the world. 

I want to put this in a specific context. What do you want for your health? How do you want to take care of your body, spirit and mind? What does your body look like? What kind of energy do you have? 

My vote is to create something that allows movement and mindfulness to be a part of your life in a way that is easy and consistent, not rigid and all or nothing. 

This is why I created Stronger Everywhere Training – it’s an online exercise program that is based on working with lots of different people (mostly women over 40) and seeing what works. 

It’s the amount of movement that is going to make a difference in increasing your physical strength and help maintain and build muscle, which is a key to longevity. And there is also a mindset component, if you’re feeling frazzled.  

The hallmark SET is the strategically designed workouts that will safely and enjoyable increase your strength, balance and mobility. Plus you’ll also get simple and useful tools to help you feel more steady and calm. 

This is for anyone who wants a strong back, a joyful heart and a balanced mind. It’s a guided program so you can show up stronger everywhere, not just in the gym. 

You can read about it here or reply to this message, if you want to find out more: 

Let’s get back to that question — what do you want?

If you can’t answer it, then it can be helpful to work with someone who can guide you through a process to not only answer that question, but also make sure you follow through on yourself. I’m raising my hand here! 🙋🏻‍♀️😉 

Maybe you’ve never considered 1:1 coaching, but as someone who has personally worked with a business coach, life coach, nutrition coach and trainer, I can tell you that having someone in your corner is a fantastic way to bring something to life. 

Accomplishing your goals is so much more fun when you have someone to share it with, both the lows and the highs!!! I love having an expert to bounce ideas off of, turn to for guidance and also solace. There is nothing like a coaching relationship; it means you have someone who can help you see (and break!) patterns in a non-judgmental way. This is very different than venting or getting advice from friends or your partner.  

A good coach will gently remind you – “Hey, this is what you want.” We need this mirror for our desires because life happens and sometimes we just forget! Also, you don’t have to come up with the plan all by yourself. I can guarantee that Edison, Jobs and Anthony didn’t achieve all they did totally on their own. 

Getting what you want doesn’t have to be a painful, selfish, egotistical endeavor. It doesn’t mean that you step on people or that you’re a spoiled brat. It does mean you have to identify what you want, cultivate focus and take action. You also need to believe this: 

You deserve for your dreams to come true. 

If you want help with the above, then message me. I make it simple and fun and whatever you learn working with me will be life changing in a lovely way. You’ll be stronger and more yourself than ever before. 

May you allow yourself the time to let your mind wander and wonder. May you see what you want for yourself. May you be open to receiving help along the way. 

Many hugs, 
Laura     

If you want calm, focused music that is longer than 5 minutes, here is a LoFi 🎶 | Mental Health 🙃 | Chillout & Chill Hop Mix… I listened to it while writing this post!