I’m so excited… my 50th birthday is this Wednesday. 🥳🥳🥳 Time is such an odd thing to comprehend. It’s fascinating how our brains can remember something so clearly from childhood or when a memory from 10 years ago feels like it happened “just yesterday.”
We all know that feeling, right?!
Turning 50 seems like a big milestone, although generally the perspective is kind of negative. I’m not quite sure why our society is so obsessed with youth, especially looking young. I prefer my wisdom, heart and body now more than that of 25-year-old me.
I feel like I have to fight for that feeling though; I have to actively choose to see my own strength and beauty through the wrinkles and gravity. Because the message is definitely that smooth skin is better; that perky wins and we should do whatever we can to not show our age.
This infuriates and confuses me. It makes no sense because we all age and it’s not a surprise!!
Why exactly do we have these standards? Why do we place so much importance on aesthetics, especially for women? I don’t want to completely let go of paying attention, but I also don’t want to chase an ideal that makes me value myself less if I can’t meet it.
Can you feel me wrestling with caring but not caring? Do you ever feel the same way?
This poem encapsulates how I want to relate to aging.
Beneath the Sweater
and the Skin
How many years of beauty do I have left?
she asks me.
How many more do you want?
Here. Here is 34. Here is 50.
When you are 80 years old
and your beauty rises in ways
your cells cannot even imagine now
and your wild bones grow luminous and
ripe, having carried the weight
of a passionate life.
When your hair is aflame
with winter
and you have decades of
learning and leaving and loving
sewn into
the corners of your eyes
and your children come home
to find their own history
in your face.
When you know what it feels like to fail
ferociously
and have gained the
capacity
to rise and rise and rise again.
When you can make your tea
on a quiet and ridiculously lonely afternoon
and still have a song in your heart
Queen owl wings beating
beneath the cotton of your sweater.
Because your beauty began there
beneath the sweater and the skin,
remember?
This is when I will take you
into my arms and coo
YOU BRAVE AND GLORIOUS THING
you’ve come so far.
I see you.
Your beauty is breathtaking.
~ Jeannette Encinias
From the book: Queen Owl Wings
https://www.jeannetteencinias.com
… that makes me pause and smile and appreciate myself as I am, as I age. Choosing how I want to see myself and recognizing my own strength and resilience.
Over The Hill
I think getting older is like having a toddler. You can’t really know how you’re going to handle it until you’re actually going through it. So, I’m careful about saying my body will be “like this” or “this is what it’s going to be for me.”
I don’t and can’t know that for sure.
What I can control are three perspectives that guide me in how I show up in life:
- I love myself through anything and everything
- I commit to taking care of my well being, at a deep level
- I will stay full of wonder and curiosity
I also commit to not looking backwards. I know so many women in their late 60s and 70s who are strong, wise, funny, powerful, have big hearts and love fiercely. To me, the idea of comparing myself to the past seems like a waste of energy and takes away from recognizing your current power.
Who am I going to be at 55? At 60? At 80? I’m so utterly excited for my own continued evolution in this world for as long as it should last.
Are you Mother, Maiden or Crone?
In ancient mythology there is the trilogy of Maiden, Mother, Crone. What do you think of when you hear the word crone? Haggard, shriveled, maybe even bitter.
Right now, I am still Mother — I’m a nurturer, leader and caretaker. But as my children become more and more independent, I’m stepping into Crone.
The Crone is often seen as “the end,” but she’s actually about rebirth, mastery, and deep self-trust. She teaches intuition, reflection, and embracing your full strength — without needing external validation. During this phase, many women embody this energy by setting boundaries, trusting instincts and stepping fully into their power, while guiding others along the way.
Isn’t that fantastic???
So even though I don’t know what my future holds, I unequivocally reject the idea that things are downhill from here. I’m 1000% ok with embodying Crone energy.
I’m not a problem to be solved; nor are my wrinkles!
This song highlights how we change and are actually stronger than when we are young. The lyrics are so good (it’s like another poem).
| Listen now on YouTube |
There’s no stopping you. And there’s no stopping me, either!
If you’d like to celebrate with me in person, I’m teaching a meditation class on Tuesday, March 4 at the Chakra Healing Room. It’s going to be fun, spicy and relaxing! 💖🔥😌
Click here to sign up for Breathe Easy: Meditation for Busy Minds BIRTHDAY EDITION!!!
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May you see yourself as whole and healthy. May you stay curious. May you have deep self trust. Many hugs!
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